THIS IS THE BEST SWEDE EVER OF TED:
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ol5CuXXKQkk
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Final swede idea
We (me, Drea and Sam Cook) are going to swede Ted.
The script:
We are going to re-create this poster using Sam, a bear and the green screen
Sam is playing John
Sam is voicing Ted
Drea is playing Lori
Scene 1: Teddy bear is alive
JOHN
Mom!
Dad! Guess what?! My teddy bear’s
alive!
John’s Mom and Dad look at each other and smile.
JOHN’S
MOM
(playing along)
Really,
sweetie? Well, that’s exciting.
JOHN
No
mom, he’s alive! For real! Look!
Teddy walks in and stands next to John.
TEDDY
Merry
Christmas, everybody!
John’s Dad scrambles to his feet, knocking plates off the
table. John’s mom screams.
JOHN’S
DAD
Looks shocked
TEDDY
Let’s
all be best friends!
JOHN’S
MOM
Oh
my god...
JOHN’S
DAD
John,
get away from that thing! Come
over
here, right now!
JOHN
But
Dad--
JOHN’S
DAD
GET
OVER HERE!
John reluctantly walks over to his dad, who grabs him and
protectively pulls him aside.
Scene
2: Boston girl/ four years
TEDDY
D’ya ever hear a Boston girl have an
orgasm? Oh ya, oh ya, harder, harder, oh good that was so good
TED
Hey,
before I forget, let’s nail down a plan for the
Bruins
game tomorrow night.
JOHN
I
can’t, I’m taking Lori to dinner.
TED
For
what?
JOHN
Well,
we’ve been dating four years
tomorrow.
TED
Oh,
screw me. Nice.
JOHN
Lemme
ask you something... you don’t think she’s gonna be expecting something... big,
do you?
TED
What, like hand cuffs?
Scene
3: Beer
TED
Hey
Johnny, while you’re up, grab me a
beer,
huh?
JOHN
Oh
yeah, a coupla’ Charles Brew-Kowskis?
TED
Yes,
a Brew-stoy-ovski would be nice right about now.
LORI
Jesus.
JOHN
Maybe
a Mike Brew-ga-slow-ski?
TED
Perhaps
a Ted Kazyn-brewski?
LORI
Y’know,
I think I might also have a Martina Navra-ti-brewski.
JOHN/TED
Ohhhh,
that doesn’t work!/Come on, don’t
ruin
it, yeah, that doesn’t work.
LORI
Come
on, what do you mean?
JOHN
It
doesn’t work, the name has to have a “ski” at the end of it. You just put
“brewski” on the end of Martina Navratolova.
LORI
I thought
we were just doing funny names.
TED
No,
it’s gotta have a “ski” at the end. Otherwise where’s the challenge? If there’s
no “ski” at the end of the root word, then we would just be idiots saying
nonsense.
Scene 4: thunder buddies
Lori: I don't - I don't understand. I really
don't. You're 35 years old and you're still scared of a little thunder?
John: I am not!
Ted: Thunder buddies for life, right, Johnny?
John: Too right.
Ted: Alright, come on, let's sing the thunder
song.
John: Alright.
John, Ted: When you hear the sound of thunder, / Don't
you get too scared. / Just grab your thunder buddy / And say these magic words:
/ "Screw you, thunder! / You can suck my stick! / You can't get me thunder
/ 'Cause you're just God's farts!"
Scene 5: gotta move out
JOHN
Ted...
you gotta move out.
TED
Wh...
what?
JOHN
It’s...
it’s gotta happen.
TED
What...what
did I do?
Scene 6: pot/job interview
JOHN
Look,
you get the job, and we’ll celebrate after.
TED
And
if I don’t get the job will we still smoke that pot?
JOHN
Probably,
yes.
TED
Yeah.
Okay, good speech, coach.
FRANK
So.
You think you got what it takes?
TED
Nope.
FRANK
No
one’s ever talked to me like that before. You’re hired.
TED
Poop.
Scene 7: TED
cashier bit
TED
Okay,
so that’s where we’ll draw the line.
Scene 8: mind rape
Ted: I met a girl; she's a cashier.
John: No way! That's awesome! We should like
double date or something, you, me and Lori and w-what's her name?
Ted: White trash name. Guess.
John: Mandy.
Ted: Nope.
John: Marilyn.
Ted: Nope.
John: Brittany?
Ted: Nope.
John: Tiffany.
Ted: Nope.
John: Candace.
Ted: Nope.
John: Don't mess with me on this! I know this stuff!
Ted: Do you see me messing with you? I'm
completely serious.
John: Alright, speed round. I'm gonna rattle off
some names, and when I hit it, you buzz it, okay? You got me?
Ted: You do it. I will tell you. Yeah.
John: Alright: Brandy, Heather, Channing,
Brianna, Amber, Serena, Melody, Dakota, Sierra, Bambi, Crystal, Samantha,
Autumn, Ruby, Taylor, Tara, Tammy, Lauren, Charlene, Chantelle, Courtney,
Misty, Jenny, Krista, Mindy, Noel, Shelby, Trina, Reba, Cassandra, Nikki,
Kelsey, Shawna, Jolene, Urleen, Claudia, Savannah, Casey, Dolly, Kendra, Kylie,
Chloe, Devon, Emmalou, *Becky*?
Ted: No.
John: Wait; was it any of those names with a
"Lynn" after it?
Ted: *Yes*.
John: Oh, I got you! I got you!
John: Okay. Brandi-Lynn, Heather-Lynn...
Ted: Tami-Lynn.
John: Crap
Scene 9: fight scene
TED
Why...why
are you crying?
JOHN
My
stick is in the TV.
TED
I’m
so sorry, Johnny. I’m so sorry.
JOHN
So
am I, man.
TED
I
love you.
JOHN
I
love you, too.
Scene 10: kidnap
Show Ted
getting kidnapped and putting a bag over his head
NARRATOR
Donny
was arrested by Boston police and charged with kidnapping a plush toy. The
charges were dropped when everyone realized how completely stupid that sounded.
My swede idea
I want to swede Kick Ass 2
Props and costume:
For costume we could use cheap capes and baby grows to have superhero outfits and make some masks out of cardboard. We could also use sticks or empty wrapping paper rolls for the weapon Kick Ass carries.
Dialogue:
Mindy: Hit me.
Dave: You're a 15-year-old girl.
[Mindy slaps Dave]
Dave: What the hell?
[Mindy slaps Dave again]
Mindy: Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch.
For this piece of dialogue we could use the gym at school, as they are in a gym training Kick Ass
Uncle Ralph: It's okay to have a bit of fun but you can't go hiring a gang of heavy hitters. Javier should've told you.
Chris D'Amico: No, it doesn't matter. Uncle Ralph, I'm going to make Kick-Ass pay for what he did to us.
Uncle Ralph: Chrisy, you need to forget that punk. It's more important that you stay out of this. You're not like me, your dad. You're... special.
Chris D'Amico: You can't tell me what to do anymore. I know who I am now.
Uncle Ralph: Oh yeah, and who's that?
Chris D'Amico: The Motherfucker.
[Uncle Ralph laughs]
Uncle Ralph: You think you're the big bad guy, huh? Let me show you what real evil looks like.
For this piece of dialogue we could be outside someone's house, as they are in the film
[Mindy kisses Dave]
Dave Lizewski: What was that?
Mindy Macready: That was my first kiss. Be nice or I'll rip your ass out through your mouth.
For this piece of dialogue we could be just on the school playground, the setting isn't important here, the dialogue is
Swedes
Mean girls sweded:
I liked this swede because the script was really accurate. Their acting was also very good, and they looked like they had really rehearsed the lines prior to making this, so they could concentrate on their performance rather than reading the lines off of a piece of paper. Their facial expressions were really good and they looked like they were having fun.
Twilight sweded:
I liked this swede because the voiceover was quite accurate to the film and the main leading girls(Bella) acting was really good. The music was really dramatic so it made it quite tense, and they looked like they were enjoying themselves.
The Lion King sweded:
I liked this swede because you could tell the person making it had put in a lot of time doing it. They had worked out when each cut out puppet should come on the screen etc, and it is really original! It is more difficult to swede an animation so it was unique.
I liked this swede because the script was really accurate. Their acting was also very good, and they looked like they had really rehearsed the lines prior to making this, so they could concentrate on their performance rather than reading the lines off of a piece of paper. Their facial expressions were really good and they looked like they were having fun.
Twilight sweded:
I liked this swede because the voiceover was quite accurate to the film and the main leading girls(Bella) acting was really good. The music was really dramatic so it made it quite tense, and they looked like they were enjoying themselves.
The Lion King sweded:
I liked this swede because you could tell the person making it had put in a lot of time doing it. They had worked out when each cut out puppet should come on the screen etc, and it is really original! It is more difficult to swede an animation so it was unique.
Task 2
12 Years A Slave
Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom
The Wolf Of Wolf Street
Question 2:
The above are just Hollywood films.
Question 3:
Mostly all are Hollywood films in Chelmsford Odeon and Basildon Empire.
Question 4:
The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug is a British film!
Question 5:All of the films in Chelmsford Odeon and Basildon Empire are English, none are in a foreign language.
Question 6:
This week, Gravity and The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug are in 3D.
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